When I was engaged, I thought a lot about how I wanted to be that "perfect wife." You know the type...Betty Homemaker. I wanted to learn how to cook, sew, clean-the works.
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A lot has changed since then. Now wives can work. Now the expectations and responsibility of a married woman are so different. What I'm having trouble with right now is the constant fight of wanting both. In the LDS culture, we are told how important starting a family is. We are told to get married, have babies-lots of babies, and raise your family. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want children; I do. I just want so much more. I know there is so much more for me to do before they come into this world. For an example, education is top priority. I want a degree. I'm so close to one, and I have the skills and resources to finish. All I've ever wanted is to create a record. I want to go on a tour, and have a sold out concert. I want to sing.
I have been thinking of how on earth I could accomplish my dreams. It's a selfish lifestyle, and a lot of celebrities have failed because they let greed and selfishness overcome them. Lucky for me, there are so many who have found such an incredible balance to a career in music performance/song writing and having a family. They are my icons. I love their music, their talents, and their overall humility.
I've mentioned my adoration for Zooey Deschanel. She is remarkable. She has made her career such a success, and you know she still loves doing it. She is a great actress, and her music is amazing.
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Even better than that, she has a terrific husband who obviously loves her greatly. She is able to do what she loves and balance that with her other love-family.
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The biggest name that comes to mind that has mastered family and career is Mindy Gledhill. This woman amazes me. I seriously would love to do just what she does. She has two beautiful children, a sweet husband, and is just about to release her third album. She travels to do gigs over most of the western states (mostly Utah, though). She lives what she loves.
She is such an inspiration to me. I've been listening to her music getting pumped up for her concert on this coming Monday, and I just feel like I can accomplish anything my little heart desires. I feel like I could really be a performing artist, finish school, and be a mom, too. An excellent blog post about Mindy here. She's so real. I think that's why I like her most. She makes it real for me. I can do what I want-make music and have a family.
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Mindy has inspired me to do something for myself. I have started my list of 25 before 25. (I have a couple years to get the list done.) I haven't finished the list, but it's started. I have so many desires, and now I'm so blessed that I can share them with my sweet husband. He supports me in anything I want to do. He puts up with my crazy moods. He loves me. He is one of my greatest strengths. He is one of my anchors. (Thanks for the description, Mindy!) I can go dreaming, but I will always come back to him. I love him so much.
All in all, I've discovered this week that I think too much, I eat too much, and I don't work enough. I like my life, though. I just have to remember to enjoy the journey.
4 comments:
Janette this is Shannon Brandon Durr and I hope you don't mind me blog stalking ya I found the link to your blog on facebook! I LOVE this post because I totally agree that being married now-a-days has it's different priorities then it used to. And you'll see as being married over time, the priorities definitely change! And I totally can relate to being LDS and the sort of "pressure" you have to start having families and lead the perfect life and examples for your kids. But I say, it's different for everybody what their priorities are whether it's saving up money, buying a house, having kids first right off the bat, etc etc. I say each person has a different calling in life! Married life is truly amazing sharing everything with your best friend and you live and learn how to cope with different things and find good balances for everything else you have to deal with. It's definitely a learning experience, but I love it! You and Craig are so adorable together!! Keep the good posts coming! :)
Well, yes the Lord does want us to have kids. I wouldn't say lots of kids. I personally have never felt pressure to start a family. We didn't have kids until we were married almost 4 years and I never once felt guilty about that. I knew the Lord wanted us to have a family but I also knew He trusted us to do it when it was right for us. You have to do what is right for you, Craig, and the Lord. Make sure you don't confuse pressure from the "LDS culture" with promptings from the Lord. There is a big difference. If you learn to differentiate, you will be just fine and beable to do what you want and need to in this life and in your marriage.
Mrs. Knight, I just love you so much. You honestly inspire ME. Don't let people's expectations get to you. Don't get caught up in the pressure. I learned this many years ago! It's harder than it sounds. You do what you need/want. If that's music DO IT. I've always thought that's where you belonged.
I had the same feelings when I got married. I was going to be perfect, I was not going to do it like my mom, I was going to do it "right". I was mean, I cried, I struggled, I wondered what i was doing. Then I realized I was me. My hubby married me for me. Not for a super women in an apron stirring dinner, while mending clothes, attending children and studying all at one. I think we put to many expectations on ourselved b/c "this is how it should be". Go to school!!! Education is most important right now. Be selfish for a while and aspire to bigger and better things. Then when the time is right to have kids, you will be ready and more mature from life experience. I always wanted kids, but like you wanted other stuff first. Had I not have done other stuff first, I think I would really be having a difficult time. But when the time came all I want to do know is stay home and be home. Not ever work, though not really optional. You are amazing, keep your chin up and know that if you work for it, you will achieve everything and more!!!
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