Friendship Ranting. I apologize in advance.
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I have always been someone who observes people. I go to the mall and sit to people watch. I love how different every person is from one another. At the same time, I notice similarities that we all have. We as humans flock to certain other humans by some invisible force. Each person has a family member of some kind, but we are born into those friendships. I mean the people that we meet at school, in a church, in the mall even. These relationships can be fleeting or enduring. Why do we have the friends that we have? What makes these relationships so important to us?
More interestingly to me-why do girls always seem to have 5-6 really close girlfriends? I see these "groups" of girls all over. Is it just a Utah thing? What makes their friendship so strong that they all stay together throughout years of trials and experiences? I also wonder why I was never in a group such as this. I had one close girlfriend since I was 12, the same exact person that is my best friend today. We are still very close, but after she moved to Georgia almost 3 months ago I am realizing that I really don't have that "group" that every other girl seems to have. I have some friends from working at Oakcrest that I am in contact with, one in particular who is serving a mission right now, but I am not super close to any of them. As I sit and look at my experiences, I wonder why I only let myself, or rather let only one person in my life. I know as I grow friends will leave because they are growing in other directions, but I regret not having a close group of girlfriends. As I am getting closer to having this baby, I've caught on to the notion that I don't have many friends to ask questions about being pregnant, having babies, and being a mother. I read books about these things because I don't know where to turn for advice. Will I ever gain more girlfriends, or will I have to accept that my only two close girlfriends are clear across the country? What can I do to make a lasting friendship?
Side note to my guy friends: You are all great, but there is a huge difference in talking to a girl about most things that are on my mind lately (symptoms of pregnancy, breasts, babies, etc). I hope you aren't offended.
7 comments:
Jeanette, I secretly think you're really awesome. And I completely understand what you're talking about. I think it's because we had more guy friends than girl friends in high school? Who knows.
If you ever have questions about pregnancy/birth/anything... I'm pretty wide open about that stuff :)
I'm so happy about your little guy! Noah is the cutest name! He's going to be so rad!
Okay, so this doesn't do much because I am across the country, but the two other Orton girls arent' and we love you!! Call me and them anytime stinkin' time you want and we are happy to share our thoughts and opinions and advice and laughter anytime!! If you want to physically get together, I gladly volunteer them for that as well:) It was great to see you amd your cute belly a couple weeks ago! Jsut know when you actually do have the baby, you will be too tired to want to talk to anyone:)
Girlfriend it's so true. I didn't have a super tight group of girls til a couple years ago. You should def come hang out and most of them are mommies!! You'd love them. Anywho, you are rad Jeanette!
Jeanette - I've enjoyed reading your rants, especially your friend ones, as I know this is NOT the first. I only sympathize and understand. I have never had a flock of girlfriends I could go running to. I too, have always had just one. I've been 'burned' all my life with friends and learned the hard way that you can't just trust anyone. I am an EXTREMELY loyal friend, once you have me, you won't lose me. I just hate that I have 1 'go to' girlfriend. She has other friends, why can't I? My 'regret' has been that I will NEVER be asked to be anyone's bridesmaid. Sure I have been bride, but, thats just a matter of time. I don't want to be an obligated bridesmaid, I want to have a really true, good friend who genuinely wants me to be a bridesmaid, and I have no one that would ask me - because I just have NO girlfriends. I too have more guy friends, and I ADORE them, but, it's not the same. I understand that pain you feel. It's just a hole that no one can fill. I know we never got close, but, if you need someone to talk to, or want to ever hang out, please let me know. Sounds like we could use each other :) Its very lonely out there.
Jeanette, I agree. I have always struggled with friends. After I read your post, I couldn't stop thinking about friends and wondered about all those things. I actually even and went and ranted on my blog too just to clear my head. You are a beautiful writer. You really know how to write something that may not be fun sound not so mean at all. You are a wonderful friend.
Dear "Bestest Best",
I hear you loud and clear sister. I miss you so much. I miss laughing with you and things that only we laugh at. Yes I know we are weirdo's . That's ok though. I will be back before you know it. I love you Bestest Best.
I've noticed this before too, especially with moving up here to WA. It's weird not knowing anyone and having to "find" friends. But my sister said after you have kids it becomes much easier because you share that connection with other moms. So.. looks like you are on the right path!
I've taken it to that it just allows you and your spouse to grow especially close together since you're all you've got! Just enjoy that part while you got it. :)
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